In My Body, Ep. 2, Janelle Ochs

I am excited to introduce menstruator Janelle Ochs (she/her).

Janelle is an artist, entrepreneur, and somatic counselor in training.

Janelle and I first met working together as wilderness therapy field guides back in 2018. I interviewed Janelle in early 2022, and we had a great conversation about the almost comical nature of her early menstruating experiences, how her cycle has changed alongside big life events, the sense of empowerment and pride she feels with her cycle and menstruation, and more. I hope you enjoy!

Question: When did you first get your period?

Janelle: I think I was 15, maybe 14. I was definitely older than most people. And, I was at my old best friend’s house, and her mom was really Christian, and didn’t do tampons. And so I was, like, a little bit embarrassed, to tell them. But I had to! Because I literally just bled! So, we have to talk about this. And, she gave me a pad, and, like a really thick, diaper feeling pad. And we went to a movie, and I was like ‘Ohhh this feels so bad. I hate this. I’m definitely going to figure out how to use tampons.’

RR: Did you tell anyone in your family about it after?

Janelle: Oh, I would bet I told my mom. I don’t remember. But I wouldn’t have been, like, scared, to tell her. And I very shortly after that went on birth control. Because it was really irregular, and I wanted it to be regular. To know when it was coming.

RR: Do you remember what you knew about it before it happened? Did anyone teach you about your period before?

Janelle: I think my mom did. She had this book. I don’t remember the book, but it had all these different answers for questions kids would ask, for different ages. About sex, and periods and stuff like that. And I'm pretty sure she read me the 12 year old part when I was 7 or 8. So I knew about sex and periods before it happened.

Question: How would you describe your current relationship with your cycle?

Janelle: Ummm. We have a love-hate relationship. I used to love my cycle. It was really regular, it was really mellow. I knew when it was coming, and I felt really powerful. So when I was like 26, I had been on birth control for 10 years. And I tried all sorts of different kinds. I was on the pill, and then the shot, and then back to the pill, and then…what is it…the morena.. The hormonal IUD.

And then, I had this traumatic thing happen outside of my cycle, and I just was like, I want it out of me. I mean, it had to do with love and sex. And I thought, I want this out, so I got it out. And I decided I’m not taking hormonal birth control ever again. And so I started to track my period. And it was very regular. It was in sync with the moon…I think the full moon…whichever one is not common. And I loved it. I felt really proud of it.
I just felt strong in my femininity and my cycle. Just overall. I hadn’t had a period for years. And I just loved having it. I don’t remember when it was in my cycle I felt that way, because I wasn’t tracking it.

RR: Can you tell me more about the way your cycle is now?

Janelle: It still ranges from 28-40 days. It's a pretty big range. So I can’t rely on what day I'm going to start.
Although it is still a pretty solid 4-5 days, when it's actually happening.

RR: Despite the inconsistency, do you feel or notice any changes throughout the cycle that are affected at certain times?

Janelle: Ya, I can tell the week before. I’ll get bloated…the week before. And then afterwards, I always feel really strong and sexy. I feel pretty bad in my body, right before my cycle, and it's a bit uncomfortable when I start..like… on the first day, and afterwards…I feel really good.

RR: It sounds like you’re pretty engaged…how do you engage with it?

Janelle: Ya! I track, and like, I'll meet myself where I'm at. I’ll be gentle with myself on certain days. I’ll be like, ‘Ohh, this is fine, I have really bad cramps today’ and then I’ll be like… ‘Oh I'll take it easy, maybe not go on a run today, or push it in yoga, or whatever.’ I track it just because I like to.

RR: Do you get certain clues when you are a week out?

Janelle: Well, now, I used to only have cramps the day of my period, and I'd be like, ‘Oh my period is starting right now!’ But now, I get some cramps, like, the week before. And I'm like, is this prepping, and I don’t understand, and it's not in line with ovulation either. And sometimes it tricks me, because it's irregular. But now I’ve realized. Ok, a week before, I get, like, false cramps. And my cervix is lower. I can feel it, in sex. It moves around so much…or…for my body it's very noticeable

Question: You were on birth control for about 10 years, what was your basic experience of that?

***Reminder** Janelle and I’s discussion of her journey with birth control should not be taken as advice- every body and life circumstance are unique!***

Janelle: When I first started, it was to become regular. And then very shortly after that I started having sex, and I was like, ‘ohh, convenient, I don’t want to get pregnant.’ And then I loved not having my period. Well actually, when I was on the pill it was regular, and then I switched to the shot, and I didn’t get my period, and I was like, ‘Oh this is awesome, I don’t have to deal with that stupid thing.’ But then, they say you shouldn’t take it (the shot) for more than 3 years because they don’t have long term research on it, and I was like, ‘That’s concerning! Ok. So… I guess I’m not going to do this anymore.’ SO! I switched back to the pill, and I was like, ‘Ohhh, I don’t like having my period, I don't want it anymore’. And that’s when I switched to the morena. And I loved it.

Up until, the experience in which…I was in New Zealand, and I just could not stand the feeling of having something in my body…and I got it out, like, the week I got home, I didn’t want it. And then my period started again, and I loved it! I went through a lot of change in that time, in those couple years after college, I just changed as a human. I went traveling, I had some intense experiences with life and love, and it revealed wounds and traumas, and um, ya, just becoming more in touch with, natural things…the earth, and natural ways of being.
Ya, I felt more like, this is a natural part of being a woman, and I liked it.

Janelle: But, with the birth control, I never noticed any other things. I didn’t gain weight. I also…wasn’t very in touch with myself. So if there were patterns, I didn’t notice them. Maybe I felt more even, like, less swings, because when I did start getting my period I was like, ‘Woah…what is this ride! There’s like this whole cycle happening. How interesting!’

I feel like it just shut off that part of me, and when it turned back on, I just felt, overall, more connected to myself. I got it pretty immediately, I felt so powerful! I sometimes wonder if I did something, or if it's just my lifestyle, I wonder if that would have an effect on the regularity of it. Sure, no one’s going to know, no one’s going to tell me, but I do wonder… And it makes sense (irregularity), if it is all about making a baby, the body may be like, ‘Oh we’re not ready (if a stressful event happens in a month), because it's a pretty important process.’

Question: How do you feel about your cycle being irregular?

Janelle: I’m sort of just accepting it. It doesn’t bother me, and I feel much less stressed about it now because my partner got a vasectomy…so I don't have to worry about birth control. Ya, it's awesome. I just feel so supported. That I don’t have to take hormonal birth control…or…track my cycle. Anyways, I'm mostly just accepting it. And I also just have this intuitive hope/confidence that it's going to become more regular.
Like, right now, I don't have a lot of consistency in my life. I live in my van, and I don’t have a steady home, and things are changing all the time, and I'm self-employed, and nothing is steady. So, it kind of makes sense to me that it's not steady. I feel like it’s reflecting that, in a way.

And I think that, in the next couple years…It just seems like it will even out and be steady at that time. Because it used to be so steady. Or, maybe it won’t, and that’s also fine. It's not disrupting my life.